I’m Back Let The Saga Continue!

I know that it’s been forever since I’ve written anything or updated my blog. But this the perfect example of why not to let people influence your dreams and aspirations.

Mr. Biggz read my blog and didn’t like it. So I basically let his negativity affect my creativity, and I regret that I stopped blogging.  But you know what? You can’t live in the past. It’s a new day and a new chapter to this saga!

Check back soon!

Match.com

So we’ve all heard the love stories and happily-ever-after stories about people who meet online. It seems fake and just a ploy to make money. But it actually does happen. I personally know 3 family members who met their spouses online. And now a co-worker has joined ranks of successful online dating. She is about to move in with her beau that she met on match.com. After she told me her fairy tale, we realized that she no longer needed her account and she graciously transferred the remaining 2 months over to me.  So I figured that I might as well give it try.

There were thousands of men ready and waiting when I logged on. But of course, I’ve decided to be very selective. Not compromising on any of my match criteria. The first guy that I “matched” with was just a trial run. It went smoothly, but there was no chemistry. We met for lunch and that was that. Today is trial run #2. I have an afternoon date at the fair with Art, a 30year old black man with hazel eyes.

We’ve been texting and talking all week, and he seems to be a nice guy. And I’m really looking forward to continuing this saga…

CRAZY, CRAZY, CRAZY!!!

So Mr. Meetup.com is getting even crazier! After telling him that I was not the one for him, I stopped replying to his text messages. However, he didn’t stop texting me… Here’s the exact text messages that I received from him.

8/12 @ 4:00p So what happened? U mad at me?

8/13 @ 12:00p So…I’m like really bored. Can u suggest something for me to do? Were still friends I’m assumin.

8/14 @ 3:00p I got it. U’r not the one. I get it…Good luck finding the right one…Take care

8/14 @3:05p Leave me alone…

8/14 @3:06p Leave me alone…

8/14 @3:07p Leave me alone…

8/14 @3:08p Leave me alone…

8/14 @3:09p If u don’t stop texting me, I’ll have to claim harassment. Please leave me alone. This is u’re last & final warning. Leave me alone.

 

Okay, just for the record, I NEVER sent him a reply text. NEVER! So I have no idea why he wanted to claim that I was harassing him. If anything, he was harassing me! He is obviously crazy! So immediately after receiving that text, I contacted Verizon and had his number blocked. I will no longer get an calls or texts from him (at least for the next couple of months).

And the saga is keeps going…

The Meetup Man Continued…

Tucson, the guy from meetup.com, must have a wonderful time on our date and really liked me because he texted me at 9am the next day. Since I’m not interested in him, I replied with one word answers until I receieved a text that read “I’m interested in u. I was trying to meet single women like u’r self b cuz I have some needs…I want to know if u’r going to b able to take care of them…” First off, those were his exact words and spellings. Secondly, WTF?!!! After meeting a girl one time, why would he think that it was okay to say something like to her.  Is he really serious?!

Instead of flying off the handle and wasting my energy and time on him. I simply responded with “sorry, I’m not the one.”And of course he didn’t take that well. He responded by asking a million questions about what I was saying, why I was saying it, if I was mad, etc. Needless to say, those questions never got answered. I will never stoop to a low level and play childish games with a man. I’m too much of a real woman for that!

So ladies, meeting men online can be fun and rewarding. But always remember safety first! Never let him know where you live and never get in a car with him on the first date. Always meet him in public somewhere and use your own transportation. Don’t put yourself in a a situation that you may regret. Because you never know if you’ll end up with a crazy meetup man.

The Meetup Man

So for those of you who don’t know, I’m on a quest to find a man, get married, and have a baby by 30. And I’ll be 28 in 3 weeks! I decided to depart from my old ways of dating and try new avenues to get to my destination.  One of which is giving every guy a quick chance. After all, my prince charming could be disguised as a toad.

A day or so ago, I recieved an message through meetup.com from a guy by the name of Tucson. Apparently, he came across my profile on the site and was so intrigued that he decided to send me a message telling me so. He felt that I was very attractive, interesting, blah, blah, blah. Normally, I would have looked at his pic and erased his message without a second thought due to the fact that he was not black and not attractive to me. However, in my effort to give everyone a chance, I decided to respond back. Turns out Tucson is from India, raised in America, new to LA, and an environmental engineer.

After finding out this background info, I decided to give him my cell number. And within minutes, he was sending the first text. He seemed excited and wasted no time asking me out to dinner that same night.  I had to decline his offer by saying that I was busy with work, but I did suggest that we reschedule for the next evening. And he of course agreed.

Early this afternoon, he texted to make sure that we were still on for dinner and to decided where we would meet. Because I was busy with work, he asked if he could call me on his lunch break so we could talk about it.  When he called I could hear the nervousness in his voice. He sounded very naive and new to the dating world. So I just giggled at his insecurity and suggested a cute little restaurant on Ventura Blvd, about 2 blocks from my house. He agreed and we set the time for 7pm.

I chose to walk to the restaurant since it was so close to my house  rather than driving or have him pick me up. My first impression of Tucson was that he was sooooo not might type, but he did look better than his pictures. He was dressed appropriately in a button up shirt with black pants. He was far from stylish though. He had a fresh haircut, buzz cut to be exact. And a gold nugget ring on his left hand. We had to wait about 20 minutes before we could be seated. And during that time,we made small talk. His nervousness was obvious and a little awkward. It was like I was the first girl that he’s been out on a date with.

After being seated at our table, he says to me “I’m going to send you a text.” And I had no idea why he would want to send me a text and I’m sitting across the table from him. The text read “So should I pick up the check? I like can.” What?! Is he serious?! Never in my life have I went dutch on a date and never in my life will I do so. Despite my disbelief, I responded simply with “That would be appropriate.” My first impression of him being naive was true. Throughout the dinner, he asked many questions that revealed how much he didn’t know about dating etiquette. I actually felt a little sad for him. But at the same time I knew that I could not dedicate any of my time to being his teacher.

We finished the dinner with promises of seeing each other again soon. However, I know that he is not my prince charming and it would be wrong for me to lead him on. But the dinner was great and the wine was fantastic. Too bad the man was not up to par.

And so the saga continues….

Old Friend, Still Old Friend

So Gary was just pacifying me when he told me that he was ready to give us a try. After stating that he would actively pursue me, like a man should, I never heard from him! Last night, I noticed that he was online, so I sent him a quick instant message asking him why he didn’t do what he said he would do. And of course, he had a million excuses. After wading through the bullshit, I figured out that he just couldn’t (or didn’t want to) deal with the fact that we are in different states. He was so pessimistic about the whole thing. He was so negative, that I finally said forget it. We’ve been friends for 9 years, let’s just keep it that way.

I’m kinda disappointed though. I was really hoping that we could turn our friendship into something more.

Oh well, who’s next?

Old Friend, New Love?

Many years ago (9 to be exact), I met this cute, little, light-skinned guy the summer before sophomore year of college. At the time I had a brand-new Mercury Cougar (a graduation gift from mom) and I took pride in washing it myself. So one afternoon as I was a washing my car at the apartment car wash, this guy (lets call him Gary) pulled up and introduced himself to me. He was cute and had a really nice Nissan Altima, so I gave him my number. And that was the beginning of a friendship that could never turn into a relationship.

At the beginning of our friendship, I felt that Gary was too “nice” and a little geeky. So I was just not interested. At that time, I only wanted to talk to the “bad boys”. The guys that would ultimately end up breaking my heart. Despite not making a love connection, we remained friends throughout the years. However, recently I’ve realized that he’s actually the perfect guy for me.  He’s educated, extremely intelligent, caring, considerate, loving, and cute! We even share some of the same hobbies and ideals. The only caveat is that he’s 2000 miles away!

I don’t have a problem with long distance dating, but he does. I’ve tried repeatedly to convince him to consider giving us a real try now that we have developed into adults. And he always shoots me down. However, this evening he calls me out of the blue and actually agrees to give it try! I’m so ecstatic! For years I’ve wondered if he could be the one that I missed out on and have always wanted a second chance with . I’ve told myself that if I ever do get the opportunity to be with him, I would definitely give him my all.

So here’s the beginning of a new chapter in the saga. I hope it has a happy ending!

My 1st White Guy

I’ve never dated outside of my race before. I’m not prejudice, but I’m very rarely attracted to men of other ethnicities. However, today I gave it try…

I decided to take my pooch to the dog park this afternoon. And while I was walking around, this white guy starts to make small talk to with me about my dog. After he introduced himself to me and shook my hand, I realized that he was flirting with me. I was a little shocked because white guys never flirt with me and if they do, I tend to ignore it.  However, I was polite and after a few minutes I walked away to find my dog.  As I was about to leave the park, the guy (lets call him E) asked me to lunch. He really caught me off guard, but I decided to oblige his request. Afterall, I did say that I was gonna be open to anything.

So we met up at this nice mexican restaraunt and grabbed a table on the sidewalk since we had our dogs with us. The lunch turned out to be very pleasant. However, I don’t think that I would like to go out with him again. Not because of his race. But simply due to the fact that he was soooo not my type. Turns out, he is a 40 yr old, outdoorsy, handyman. We have absolutely nothing in common except for the fact that we both own dogs. But at least I gave it try.

Stupid is as Stupid does!

Somehow, someway, I became facebook and twitter friends with this guy, Z. Online he appeared to have his shit together and that fact that he lives in my hometown was a plus. (Gotta love a southern boy!) Sometime after being “friends”, he expressed in interest in getting to know me better. So because I’m open to new ways of potentially meeting “Mr. Right”, I decided to play along. But quickly I discovered his vice.

Despite having my cell phone number, he only wants to communicate via twitter and facebook. I find that kinda odd. A grown man in his 30’s who won’t pick up the phone to talk to someone he’s trying to get to know, is an issue. Don’t get me wrong, I think that texting and facebook are fine. I use them both all the time. However, when I need to have a real conversation with someone, I pick up the phone and call them. I do not use facebook as my primary mode of communication with my friends.

So after a week or so of dealing with him online. I decided that he wasn’t worth my time and I brushed him off. However, he continued to messge me on facebook and twitter occasionally to say that he was thinking of me, or just to say hi.

I took a quick weekend trip back home to Alabama for the 4th of July. And while planning my “to-see” list. I thought about Z. I decided that since he claimed he wanted to see me, and I would be in town, this would be a great opportunity. After getting into town, I send out a tweet letting everybody know that I had arrived. And in true Z fashion , he tweets back instead of picking up the phone to call or even text. I was only going to be in town for 2 full days. So the next morning, I called Z thinking that he would want to schedule a date considering the fact that I am finally within driving distance of him. However, he doesn’t do so. Both days went by and no further contact from him occured. So I figured that  despite all the “hoping to see me” messages I received from him, I just wasn’t important enough to get on his to do list.

But low and behold, the minute that I got back to LA and sent a tweet saying so. Who tweets back saying that he wish that we could have gotten together? That’s such bullshit! I feel that he is an immature coward. He can talk a great talk 3000 miles away, but when the opportunity is 15 miles away, he does absolutely nothing! So natuarally he get’s put on my bullshit list and all communication with him ceases.

However, after about a week of ignoring him. I decided this evening to respond and let him know how I feel about him. And trust me, he didn’t take the news well. He acted like the immature boy that he truly is. So that attempt at love was a major bust! However, it didn’t detour me. I’m still have my eyes open for Mr. Right and the saga will continue…

Biggz

So I’m going to start this saga with introducing everyone to Biggz. I met Biggz about 3 years ago…

I was new to LA. So clubbing in Hollywood was definitely the thing to do. One weekend night, my girl and I decided to go to a very popular spot located in West Hollywood. (And no it was not a gay club!) I had spent all afternoon searching for an outfit and ended up buying a red, sparkly tube top from Arden B. Which I paired with some little black shorts that gave a glimpse of the tatoo on my upper thigh. I completed the ensemble with black sandals that laced up my calf. I was too sexy and I knew it that night!

After getting into the already packed club, my friend and I walked around exploring the atmosphere. We ended up outside on a small patio. Not too long after securing our spot, a rather large, dark skinned guy comes through the back enterance with a friend and takes a seat at a reserved booth on the patio. It would have been impossible not to notice him. Not only because of his size, but due to his presence. He knew that he was the shit and carried himself that way. I immediately knew, I had to catch his attention.

So I positioned myself directly in his line of view and made sure my longs legs were visible. Random guys kept coming up to me and my friend attempting to make small talk. But my focus was on the booth in the corner. After a few minutes, he looked up and noticed my thighs, then as his eye made their way to my face we locked eye contact. He nodded and motioned me over to the booth. He offered me and my friend a much needed place to sit, and the small talk began. He told me his name and we exchanged numbers. I don’t remember everything that was said. But shortly there after, he excused himself and left the table. And I don’t think that I saw him again that night.

Now let’s fast-forward 3 years. Over the years Biggz and I have remained friends, but never had an actual relationship. He also now lives in New Jersey. A couple of months ago, he starts calling and texting me. He called one day and informed me that he would like to make something happen between us and that I shouldn’t forget about him. He even invited me to come to New Jersey. But I blew it off. I realized when I first met Biggz that we would never have a real relationship. So I never put any real effort into it. But what surprised me was hearing him say things like that. Biggz has never been a “touchy-feeling-talkative” type of guy. So to hear him say that he kinda missed me and wanted to see me, was a shocker. And as the weeks went by, he didn’t let up. So I finally agreed to fly to New Jersey for a weekend.

The thought of spending a weekend with Biggz, frightened me. We had never spent more than a few hours together before. So spending 3 uninterrupted days together was a little scary. But it went over without a hitch. We had a nice time. Upon returning to LA, I texted and called Biggz with no return response. I thought it to be quite odd for him to be ignoring me. And after a week of no response, I sent him an angry email. A few days later, I get a reply saying that his phone was broken, he was out of town, and he would call me as soon as he got back in a couple of days. Those days turned into a month! Yes, a month later he magically appeared. He wanted to see me again and wanted me to come back to New Jersey. I told him this time, he needed to fly to LA.

I’ve always been emotionally guarded around Biggz. Because I knew that we would never have a real relationship, I never let my emotions or feelings come into play. That’s why it didn’t really bother me that I didn’t hear from him that month. But with him wanting to spend more time with me, I started to become confused. I wanted to know why. Why after 3 years was he showing such a strong interest? And I wanted to know the answer to the forbidden question, “how do you feel about me”. So I told him I that I was confused about what was going on and I wanted some answers.

He’s a very straight forward man, and this time was no different. He stated that he wanted us to be “best friends with benefits”.(Yes, you did read that correctly.) Biggz and I have always had an unspoken agreement about what we were to each other. But to hear him actually say it, was a little shocking. So I decided that I needed to think about some things.

I realized that because I was so emotionally guarded towards Biggz, he’s never gotten to know 100% of me. So I told him, that if he wanted to ever get to know all of me, I would have to let down my guard. Which meant that I couldn’t have sex with him anymore. But if he was happy with the superficial relationship that we always had, then we could just keep it going. I knew that Biggz, wouldn’t be happy with this because lately he’s been talking a lot about settling down and getting married to someone. (And I’ve felt like I’ve been on the interview block.) So for him to hear that in order to get closer to me, there would be a no sex clause, was not what he was hoping for.

So that brings us to today. Biggz and I decided to keep doing what we’ve been doing all along. But I told him that I would try to open up a little bit more. After all who knows, Biggz could have been my Mr. Right all along. And so the saga continues….